| ~~~MY LAST ENTRY~~~ |
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| 03:42pm 16/05/2005 |
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mood:  annoyed music: SNATCH
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this is about the fifth time that drama has happened bc of livejournal. so this will be my last entry ever. maybe i will resort to more conventional methods such as a real journal or something of that sort.
the only thing that makes me thing twice about doing this is all the people i keep in touch with from this journal. my phone number is 805 9015519. please call me bc i dont want to lose touch with people just bc i wont be on here anymore.
tiffany:
for the record, ian and i are not having some sort of secret affair. we are just friends plain and simple. most of my entries are only for me so when i dont put peoples names dont assume they are about anyone else. this lesson strikes a little too close to home for me because i have done it myself and gotten mad at someone when i shouldnt have. when i said something about a guy calling me drunk saying he loves me, it was about someone else, not ian. ian would never do that to you. ya we talk but thats it, end of story.
i never thought anything had to say would be of any consequence.
so im sorry if i hurt anyones feelings, but it was nothing but a big misunderstanding.
i suggest everyone move on and get over it.
ps. summer lovin is happenin so fast, i met a boy cute as can be
today is the start of summer and i have made it my goal to have to best summer of my life. so if you want to be apart of it please dont forget to call me.
i love you all and will miss you.
<3 NICOLE
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| finals |
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| 12:24pm 11/05/2005 |
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mood:  numb music: weird science
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this week is finals week, i cant wait until it is over.
im tired of everyone being so moody geez. everyone needs to chill out. no problem that you are having right now is the end of the world so stop stressing. these are suppossed to be the best years of our lives so lets all make the best of it.
i for real quit smoking. it has been like a week since a cigarette.
everyone has there weakness. i guess mine has changed. i mean whats wrong with wanted to be happy for an hour?
im nervous about friday. sometimes i doubt that anyone will ever really like me.i hope im pretty enough or funny enough. i need to shut up. |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| happy mama day |
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| 06:40am 08/05/2005 |
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i need a fucking bike.
yesterday i opened at work. then i picked up andy and lisa and went to the swap meet. i barely remember the next 4 hours but i remember thinking that i felt like i was in fear in loathing in las vegas and i knew what hunter was feeling when he wrote that story.
it is amazing that you can just go through boxes of other peoples crap and just buy random shit and it will make you so happy.
we went to the beach. i fell asleep and got really sick. andy had to drive home bc i was way too nauseated. he left lisa and i in an elementary school parking lot bc he had to go home. lisa cant drive so we waited there for about an hour until i felt up to driving home. i went home threw up, went to sleep, and woke up at like 3am when i had gotten about 10 hours of sleep. then i went to work at 5am and now its mothers day.
sell me your bike |
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| 11:18am 03/05/2005 |
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i just finished my math test. im waiting for lisa to get out of class so we can discuss how poorly we did.
i feel like i have lost a couple friends. maybe not lost but they have definately been demoted.
jake called me the other day it was very nice to hear from him except i dont really remember much of the conversation bc i was at brandons.
im suppossed to go see sin city with andy sometime today. kaylie you should go too.
my neice is beautiful.
im in love
all i need to do is just finish these last 2 weeks of school then i will be ok. |
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| 06:46pm 02/05/2005 |
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my sister had her baby on friday night. brooklyn is her name. im an aunt, again. shes adorbale and looks like a glow worm.
date with eric LB? that would be nice
ian woke me up this morning. he got to see bauhaus, i hate him. im glad we are finally firends. |
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| 11:44am 26/04/2005 |
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Vesna- lisa her name is Vesna, not VESPA |
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| 11:29am 25/04/2005 |
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alisons breakfast is the BEST
this last week has been one big fucked up blur.
a review...
rocks
homies
smoke
driving
shrooms
running out of gas
bruises
beer
vibrating tampons
asian men
oprah
pipes
ballerinas
cherry
baby possums
bi sexuals
ex's
tears
lisa and i fighting
gucci sunglasses
ghost at my grandpas rest home
lisa and i pretending nothign happened
amityville horror
weed
4 people in andys truck
ashley and kaylie being lesbians for a week
slutty boys
blood
carrows
hanging out with christian girl
tyler
is
fucking
sexy |
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| my life is go |
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| 11:25am 18/04/2005 |
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saturday after i got off of work i went to a bon fire at emma wood for travis and noels bdays. there were a lot of people there probably about 50 random drunk doods.
juli was crying. and drunk.
lisa was drunk too.
juli ended up falling on her face and got a black eye and 5 stitches on her forehead. i spent 4 hours in the er with her yesterday.
lisa doesnt remember anything and was found on a bridge on main street by brandon. he drove her home but when they got there lisa didnt have her purse or keys on her so brandon just dropped her off at my house. haha.
she woke up at my house , lost her phone.
last night andy picked me up after work, we went to emma wood with lisa to try to look for her lost cell phone. andy called it and some scary mexican guy answered. he said he had the phone and to come get it at his apartment on the avenue. sketchy!
so andy was brave and went up to the guys home. the cracked out guy wanted money or somekind of reward. he gave him 10 bucks.
then we all went to clearpoint where we sat in andys truck for about an hour talkiing about his dog hannah.
now i woke up and have a splitting headache and all i can think about is the olive garden |
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| 11:30am 11/04/2005 |
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blasts from the past arent always good
ian called me
weird huh?
i feel like carrie and mr. big from sex and the city. no matter how what he always seems to just slip right back in to my life again. im not sure that is good |
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| 11:18pm 06/04/2005 |
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i fucking hate you.
you say you love me, what a fucking joke
dont call me
i dont fucking care how drunk you are
whats the point anymore
i dont know |
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| my april resolutions |
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| 03:11pm 31/03/2005 |
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mood:  accomplished music: queens of the stone age- little sister
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im tired of trying. he can come hang out with me if i really matter to him.
if your bored then your boring.
learn a new skill. sew. paint. draw. im trying to do anything that DOESNT involve money.
im cleaning up my life starting ...Now. i cleaned out my car . next is my room. hopefully all of this will get me closer to being a happy person. i want to be pretty, so im going to work on that also.
im saving my money to move out. anywhere cheap. i just want to be responsible. plus i think i will get along better with my family once im gone.
im sick of dicking around. i want to start doing something productive with my life. |
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| 01:17pm 30/03/2005 |
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i have been having these really crazy dreams lately. the first one was about brandon. he took me and all my friends plus my mom to spain for my birthday dinner. then he was fluent in spanish once we got there. apparently he made all his money from selling drugs.
the other was about my dream boy. his name is eric and he lives in long beach. i was supossed to hang out with him like last month when he came here for a show but we left bc the show was lame and i never got to hang out with him. i need to make a trip to the LBC to hang out with him now bc my dreams told me so.
maybe im psychic. hopefully i am. i want to go to spain. |
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| 12:16pm 28/03/2005 |
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my life is nothing but ups and down. almost predictable that nothing will work out the way i wanted it to.
guys are lame. all of them. they say that girls are complicated and hard to understand but really all we want is to feel wanted and have a guy occasionally open to door for us or hold our hand. i doubt that is too much to ask. plus i think im worth the trouble. |
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| 12:12pm 17/03/2005 |
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drama drama shit shit
c'mon brush your shoulders off...
"are you proud of what youve done to me, you never fucking cared"
last night a much needed:
DTR.
so there are like 5 degrees of being with some one right?
-hanging out
-dating
-seeing eachother
-"together"
-bf/gf
doctor nick called me last night and it took us like 2 hours to figure out what we are because we are both too shy to say what we actually think.
we are somewhere between "seeing eachother" and "together". i think i can be content with that. i really didnt want to be in like a serious relationship especially after my last one was all fucked up. and also because there is a chance that he is going to be moving to seattle soon and i really dont want to get attached to someone who is just going to go away.
soooo... ya.
awkward.
last night i was discussing my top 5 favorite people. it was kinda sad because i could only think of 4. i dont even have 5 favorite people bc i guess i feel like those who were once my really good friends arent anymore. ya it is a too way street i know. but once you can think of at least 5 things that really piss you off about someone, whats the point in even keeping them around? you cant change someone. that is something i have learned first hand. in a way its kind of depressing, but its also a little refreshing to know that those few people that you love really care about you back. i would rather have that than a whole bunch of "friends" that you arent sure of. |
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| 12:28pm 16/03/2005 |
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its also funny how i havent talked to you in forever bc you were "sick and tired of all the drama", when in actuality you were the one who was instigating all the shit that went on. you need to stop talking shit, and if you are so upset over your "two former best galpals" then maybe you should make some effort to actually be our friend. i love you and it sucks that i havent got a chance to really talk to you in a long time but how can you expect me to come up and try so hard to want to be friends with someone who i fear will just turn around and talk shit about me right after i leave. how can someone trust anyone like that.
your making a big deal out of nothing. make up your mind. im not going to waste my time on someone who obviously doesnt want to be friends with me. attention is what you live for. you have so much going for you i wish you could call me and we could talk instead of reading fucking livejournal drama. i just got a new phone with the same number so call me if you think im worth it; but oh ya i forgot "your words are worth more than the people they are about".
it really hurts to know that someone you were once so close with can be so fake. im not sure if this is true, but im beginning to think that you purposely start all this shit for drama. are you bored or something. do you have nothing better to do in your life than make people feel like crap? you used to be one of the funniest people i knew, but now, i dont know you. if i dont mean anything to you, than stop writing about us or caring about us. hopefully something will change. im not quite sure how all this came to be. how did it get to this point? i want to see you in person and give you a hug but its up to you. i dont have your number, you have mine. im not even sure i would have to ambition to call you after what i read. its up to you. |
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| play-doh |
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| 12:31pm 15/03/2005 |
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mood:  giddy
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yesterday i had so much fun even though we didnt really do anything that exciting.
lets see, woke up, went to school.
ate at corrales. brandon met us and he spilt his sour cream burrito all over his way too metal black pants. he got soo mad. it was scary.
dr. nick met lisa brandon and i at my house. we went over to lisas to do stuuuufff. haha. and then we wasted like 30 polaroid pictures of "artsy" objects. it was awesome.
brandon left to go to his myspace.com band practice.
the doctor, lisa, and i all went to my work where dr. nick had caffeine for the first time in the form of a caramel frappacino. we was going all crazy. aw hes so cute.
off to toys r us we went. i was being generous and i offered to spent $20 on lisa and nick. so lisa picked out a whole bunch of crayola objects and play-doh. nick picked some lego spiderman guy that you have to build. then we went to lisas and played with legos and play-doh for about 3 hours. i made a brutal grim reaper.
andy guzboy came over and we all watched 50 first dates. then dr. drove me home. it was nice. all in all i would say i had a 5 star day. |
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| no phone for nicole |
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| 12:34pm 14/03/2005 |
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yes it has happened again. i washed my phone in the washing machine. last time my phone flew off thunder mountain. so ya i am unreachable. but i am mostly always with lisa. so call her if ya want to get ahold of me - 9010540
last night was champaigne sunday. i got drunk. mostly bc i was driving and i look over to my left and guess who is in the car right next to me. ian. in his car with his girlfriend. yay. it was awkward. we both just gave each other blank looks and then i drove off.
shut up lisa ihate you |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| lifes been weird |
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| 12:35pm 07/03/2005 |
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soo that date was nice. movies. hand holding. aww. thinkgs are kinda funny now though, like i dont know where things are leading, a DTR is in need.
i have decided to just take things one day at a time. im not going to think about the future, im not going to think about the past. hopefully this will mean that maybe ill be happier and things wont be complicated. i dont know. i think i have some major problems. im pretty sure that my last relationship with ian really fucked me up. the thought of ever having another boyfriend freaks me out, i feel like its just going to end up in shit so whats the point. im trying to get over these ideas bc i realize what an idiot i am.
i woke up yesterday feeling all sick and shitty. i need to start taking care of myself. everyday i hang out with lisa, juli and dr. nick. you people need to hang out too.
my couisin ben is suppossed to be coming today. that means i have to escort him around town and try to entertain him. ew how annoying. hes 21. i havent seenhim for like 7 years, and the last time we hung out all we did was fight. maybe its bc his favorite band is the dave matthews band! he wont like my friends. hahaah. he will probably think im "weird", just bc he is from illinois. |
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| 01:03pm 02/03/2005 |
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god what are you doing
i want wendys |
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Post |
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| new chapter |
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| 12:37pm 28/02/2005 |
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lisa and juli moved into craigs house last thursday so i have been pretty much just hanging out there lately. im like the guy thats always there but doesnt live there just kinda sleeps wherever there is room. brian and the kids from washington were down on thursday also. we all hung out and they stayed the night causing all this drama with brenda bc apparently craig wasnt aware that they were staying and lisa and juli got a talkin to.
i have had this intense stomach ache lately due to stress or something. so i basically eat close to nothing everday which im sure isnt healthy but on a good note i have lost about 7 pounds which is awesome.
i have a date on thursday. ! haha. thats awesome. he was all shy about it too. aww. im kinda nervous though bc i havent like been on a real date in almost 2 years. i hope he can handle the fact that i like to burp in public.
i am in english right now, im supossed to be typing some lame assignment but i decided against that and went straight to my trusty ol lj. ew im lame.
lisa, dr. nick and i are all going to lunch in a lil. im excited to eat. it is the first time in like a week that i actually have an appetite. appetite for disaster that is.
i miss all my friends. evan. andrew. kaylie. andy. scott. i dont know it just seems like everyone is way too busy these days. including myself. im sorry. im going to try to make time for everyone. i have just been working like 6 days a weeks so its really hard bc the only times i can usually hang out is after 11pm or maybe after i get off of school. |
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